Livin' Better Now.

      It's harder than you think. It's tough to be happy. To be truly happy. But I try. I try my fuckin hardest, I swear. Second to that is how difficult it is to be myself --not in actually being myself, I do that brilliantly, but in dealing with people while being comfortable with myself. When you're alone people assume you're lonely. When you're with someone, they only want to hear the dirty secrets. They expect it to fall apart. Everyone doubts how much you like what you like and would rather hear the story of what you went through over what you aim to accomplish.

      This is a dirty world.  Friends clench teeth behind curled up smiles as they wish you the best (as long as it's no better than them and/or if they might be able to eat off you when the time is right). People who need partners-in-crime get caught up. Secrets are for individuals. Once you tell your secret, it's not a secret anymore. The people around you and the things they can say about you make all the difference in the world. That's why I pick and choose carefully. That's also why everyone knows --no matter how often we've exchanged the word "Friend" --that I an a lone soldier. A wayfaring stranger of sorts. Few people understand what I'm talking about all the time & very little of me cares to explain in detail.

And so, I defer to I detailing in general.

Live Happier.

Youtube.com/Ella4Presidents

Hustle. Today.

        Loneliness is all relative. Time is fleeting or endless depending on how much attention you pay to it. I’m at a point where I’m simply trying to decide what is/is not worth my time. Most shit is simply... not  worth my time. Unfortunately, most people are not worth my time. People want to catch up with me and have conversations about nothing, and while I appreciate the love... I’d appreciate a check so much more. Don’t knock me for tryina get these 6 zeros to every one of my dreams. Fuck am I supposed to do?  I've no choice but to hustle. *shrugs*

Freedoom

Ain't no feeling like being free -- Destiny's Child, "Free"

    We keep ourselves trapped. While we may fall into the empty well unsuspectingly, you've got nothing but time while you're down there. We often find ourselves in situations we feel are inescapable. There's a great percentage of people who stop right there. As soon as it gets tough, we say "fuck it," right? We stop trying. As soon as someone makes us feel like we "ain't shit", we believe it. We begin to consider the possibility of this being it. All there is. But if there is still tomorrow, how can you be so sure?

 Don't give up on happiness so easily. On possibility. I've come across so many situations in the past week, I'm a bit emotionally overloaded. I confronted the selfishness of the individual, the pain of the mother, the corruptness of youth, the sting of disappointment, the flaws of family, & the strength of greed. Mostly, though, I came to understand the power of love: It has the amazing ability to make us do things we shouldn't have done forcing us to say things we shouldn't have said. You know, some say the same things of anger. 

Shoutouts:

S/O to all the things that happen 

& those with the courage to tell the tales.

S/O to all the credit that's due.

and those who refused to recognize.

Go Places.